Emotional rollercoaster day

This has been a really tough day (not all in a bad way).  Blaine had a good night last night and slept well.  He really didn't notice any further improvement this morning.  His legs seemed the same and the numb feeling was still at the same point in at his stomach.

We saw the infectious disease dr. again today who still feels Blaine had the swine flu and that it is the cause of this.  It is an unusual reaction for the swine flu so if you get it, please don't worry!  Any virus can do this...creepy, huh?

When the neurologist came in, she examined him and told us that she would like the rehab. dr. to come into see Blaine.  She is recommending that he go to Sister Kenny Institute for inpatient rehab and that he'd be there for weeks.

This really hit me hard because I thought we'd be coming home on Friday.  It's hard to be apart as a family so I was looking forward to being at our 'home away from home' soon.  I don't know how to do it all.  

Some of you remember that after the car accident almost 4 years ago now that after 11 hours of surgery to rebuild his face and femur, he spent a night in ICU.  They wouldn't let me stay with him and I though, "if every he will be fine without me in a hospital, it will be in ICU where he'll get great care."  He ended up being ignored by his nurse all night and actually thought he was going to die.  It was a horrible experience for him and I promised him that I would NEVER again leave him in a hospital.  

But I also know that I cannot stay away from my children for weeks and weeks.  I have to give up my control over that issue and trust that everything will be fine when I can't be there.  The dr. reminded me that when he had this bad experience, he could not communicate because he had a tracheotomy and now he can communicate.  True.  But I still don't like it.

I left the hospital (Jenny was here) to go meet with our builder about an issue on the house.  While I was gone, I realized that God seems to be working on my wanting to control.  I really don't think I'm a big control freak, but I do like to do things the way I think is best.  I guess that's a control freak!  

So as more control drips away from me, I need to put my whole trust in the only One who is completely trust-worthy.  

My plan now is that I will be staying with Blaine until he leaves the hospital and goes to Sister Kenny.  I will spend the day with him then and come home for dinner with our kids.  I'll sleep at home with the boys and after breakfast leave the boys for the day in the care of someone yet to be determined.  They are having a hard time, at least Misganaw is and I knew he would.  He doesn't adjust well to big changes at all.

My heart is broken for them as they must yet again undergo a huge transition.  Pray that they will not regress at all.

Sister Kenny is very well known for their excellent, cutting edge rehab.  This is the very best place for him.  He will receive 15 hours of therapy each week.  The rehab dr. thought he'd be there no more than 3 weeks, not as long as I thought it would be.  

Blaine went to physical therapy today and Jenny went with him while I was away.  She has been a tremendous help as she is a physical therapy assistant and really knows her stuff.  Blaine was up at the parallel bars and was told to walk and couldn't move his feet at all.  He was greatly discouraged and broke down.  I'm sure he is in shock because he's such a strong and capable man and he's been reduced to this.  

The physical therapist had to push his feet along but by the end of the hour, he managed to move his feet all by himself from one end of the parallel bar to the other!!!  Amazing, really!!  In just one hour.  Just think what they will do for him at Sister Kenny.  

It is usually very difficult to get a spot at Sister Kenny due to their excellent reputation, but Blaine's in!  Praise God for directing us to this hospital and opening up a spot for Blaine in rehab!

He is stronger today and was able to sit up by himself and not tip over.  He couldn't do this yesterday.  So there is progress.

We thank you so much for all your prayers.  Please, please don't quit!!  We still need them.

Thank you for your kind comments and emails.  You have no idea how much they mean to me.

We love you,

Laura