Yep, it's true. Aliya has been home 3 months now. We just had our 3 month post placement visit with our social worker and she asked us the typical questions: How is she fitting into your family? Does she call you Mom and Dad? How have you handled discipline her? What problems have you encountered? Any medical problems come up? And on and on.
It's actually difficult to find the words to answer these questions. It goes something like this: She has done GREAT! She fits in perfectly to our family. She hasn't experienced any grief that we have seen at all. She called us Mom and Dad from the second she met us, actually before she met us. Haven't had any reason to discipline her, seriously. Ok, except a couple times I told her she really should go to bed since it was 9:30 and she delayed a little bit and I had to tell her, "Aliya, Mommy said you better go to bed now." To this she replys, "Ok, Mom" and she hugs both of us and goes off to bed. That's it! We've had no problems.
What more can I say?? We've had no problems so there is simply nothing to say. Thank GOD for that! We are truly thankful for the easy and seamless transition we've had with Aliya and she's had with us.
I've had people say to me, "I'd adopt an older child if I KNEW I'd get an easy one like her."
Wow, how do you respond to that one? You never, even know how life will be with your child...biological or adopted. It's a faith walk every day. Fear keeps people away from doing things that are right. How sad. What a waste.
Personally I want to encourage people to adopt, especially the child who is waiting for whatever reason: age, medical condition, sibling set. We are not the only family who's adopted an older child and had a wonderful experience! I know of many!
Friday she had a special event at her middle school called "The Mighty Mile" where students raise support for new technology at the school and on Friday they run the mile. Aliya does NOT like to run. So when she came downstairs after getting dressed, she was wearing jeans. I asker her how she was going to run in jeans. She said her teacher said she could walk.
I said, "Ok, but are you really going to walk in those flip flops that you are wearing?"
I asked her if she knew what the word "stubborn" meant. She didn't so I explained it this way.
She knows what a donkey and a horse are so I told her if you put them together and they have a baby, they make a mule who, if you try to make it move, it is very stubborn and puts its' feet down and won't move. Sometimes it even sits down like a dog when you try to make it do what it doesn't want to do. "That is you sometimes...stubborn," I said with a smile.
She smiled and said, "Yes, that is GOOD!"
She took it as a complement! I love it:) I guess when you've had to be a survivor, being stubborn is indeed a positive trait.
When I picked her up from school that day, she told me that she was not allowed to walk the mile since she had flip flops on. I asked her how she felt about that.
I got the answer I hoped for.
"I felt a little sad because it looked like so much fun."
I said, "Maybe next year you will want to do it?"
"Yes, I will. And it will decor (decorate) a shirt like the other kids did."
Bingo, lesson learned. We have learned not make a big deal about things that don't really matter. Most of the time, it pays off and they learn on their own. We could have made her wear sweats and tennis shoes, but that would have done nothing to strengthen our relationship. We try to remember the big picture.
We love Aliya. She had been hand picked by God from the beginning of time to be in our family. I don't pretend to know His ways or understand why things work out the way they do. We just walk every day in faith that God does know and He has a plan.
I don't know why she had to undergo such loss and pain in her short life. I don't understand how she can be so resilient. But God in His grace and mercy chose for her to be ours and for that I know I can honestly say, we all are blessed beyond our wildest imaginations!