Blaine and I were talking last night and he very excitedly said, "It won't be much longer now and she will be with us!" We are so excited to bring her home and make her a part of our family. Even though she is an older child and she already has gotten her first tooth, has begun walking and has definitely said her first words, there will still be so many firsts for us to share and enjoy with her.
When we get to the airport in Ethiopia, she will ride on her first escalator followed by her first ride on an airplane. We will be with her as she leaves Ethiopia for the first time and comes to the west. What a shock that will be! It will be her first time to see snow and be in cold weather. And it will be her first time ever to have a dad, brothers and a sister. What a privilege to be the ones to accompany her through these "firsts."
Like when the boys joined our family in Feb. of '07, I know that along with these very fun firsts there will be turmoil. Change is hard and can be scary. Tarikwa is a child who has lived through things that most American's have not and can only imagine. And even though she is gaining much, she has lost so much, too. With this, there will be grief. We will be there to guide and love her through this. With grief and fear, there may be anger and pain. We will be there to support her and get her through this.
Adoption is many things. It is unbelievable joy and blessing! To think that God would grant us the privilege to raise another child, one He has chosen for us, leaves me breathless. It really does. But I don't want to appear 'pollyanna-ish' about adoption. I also know the day Tarikwa enters our home, things will change and the family structure will need to once again work itself out. I know that I will be stressed and cry myself to sleep some nights.
I don't ever to give the impression that I have it all together. I'm not one of those moms about whom people say, "She never loses her temper," "She is so patient," or "She's meant to have a dozen kids." I'm a work in progress!
And this is why it amazes me that God, in all His wisdom chose me to be a mother again. Not an honor I really deserve but God...But God. I truly am honored!
What I am saying is that I am not equipped. I wasn't built 'equipped' like some women are. But God...
He doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called.
Praise His Name,