Tuesday, December 15, 2009

A whole lot of nothing

Each and every day, I wake with great expectations of hearing of a new court date for Tarikwa. When I've heard nothing by 2:30, I start to think about emailing our agency. Even though I know that if they had some information for me, they'd let me know, I still check anyway. The answer is always the same, "Sorry, nothing new."

Today, I checked back (way back) on my email to when we were waiting for a travel date for the boys. That was back in the day when the agency didn't tell you when your court date was. They just notified you after you passed court and told you when you could travel to Ethiopia for your embassy date and to meet and pick up your kid(s).

Well, it kind of cracked me up because I was going crazy then, too! I had entitled one email to our adoption specialist, "Having bad dreams!" I then go on to explain to her that we'd had a wonderful Christmas and hoped she had, too. Then I tell her about my bad dream that I had to call her, was at my wits end and was crying and sobbing on the phone to her, asking her if we had a travel date. Keep in mind, I had a really good relationship with this woman! I then asked her if she thought that something was wrong in our paperwork and reminded her that it had been 8 weeks since we'd accepted the referral of the boys. (As if she'd forgotten!)

She had reassured me that everything was fine and we weren't alone and that it was understandable to be stressed...these are your kids, after all!

It made me laugh to remember how stressed I was at this time. There was a family who had received their referral after us, traveled and brought their child home all before we even got a travel date! This is why I was concerned!

I remember calling my sister in law, Pam (a fellow adoptive mom and one who would understand) and I was literally sobbing, telling her that I just cannot do this anymore. I can't wait another minute. And you know what? I no more than got off the phone, checked my email and saw "Travel date...Feb. 1st!" I bawled even more, knowing God had taken me to the very end of myself.

As you know, it all worked out and we do have these two sweet little boys that live in our home and are our sons! So it does all come together!

Why do I stress? I guess just because it's hard. It's hard to wait to hear. It's hard to know she's there and we're here and we want to be together. It's hard to hang in limbo. It's hard to wait.

Keep praying for her and us and this elusive court date and MOWA letter.

I do have to tell you a funny thing that happened to me when I was getting groceries today. After I swiped my card, the cashier said, "Your total is $115. 75."

I looked at the teeny total on the pin pad and said, "I though you said $115.75." She said, "Yes, that is correct." I thought, "Then why does it say $335.75?"

It was then I stood on my tippy toes just far enough away to see that what my eyes were seeing were actually not 3's but indeed 1's. The cashier and I had a good laugh, for you see, she also was over 40.

Lesson for the day...wear your glasses! I wonder what else I'm missing??



  1. dear laura,

    i'm so very sorry this wait continues!

    my heart is with you and i understand how hard this part of adoption is!

    our prayers remain with you and we send big hugs!

    every time i feel i can't do one more day good news is just around the corner. praying it so for you and tarikwa!

    love you,

  2. aarrgghhh I feel your pain - seriously you email each day? cause I've been trying to limit myself to once a week, but may need to step it up. LOL.

    Good news has to come tomorrow right?

  3. Other than the grocery trip... You just described my day to a "t". Did you write that for me??

  4. I am so sorry you are still waiting. Limbo is THE worst!!! Hang in there.
    Sorry about the glasses thing. Haven't gotten there yet, cause I am only just a little bit younger than you. ;o)

  5. tried to post this yesterday and it wouldn't let me:
    praying for your wait and your daughters wait..... waiting is SO HARD!!! The LORD will be glorified!!!
    (that is what I repeat to myself 100,000 xs a day!!!) If you indeed aren't wearing your glasses it is a ONE but probably more accurate if it were a THREE! ;)

    So glad this part of the wait is OVER!!! Traveling in FEB!!! YIPPEE!! Congrats!!!!