Saturday, June 27, 2009

Is this why?

I have a list of favorite blogs that I read regularly.  They are all adoptive moms, mostly with kids from Ethiopia.  This morning I read a beautiful post by this mom at  I hope that works.  She has an older daughter from Ethiopia who has had a difficult time adjusting over the past few months.  They call her Dimples.  Dimples mom is so gracious to let us have a window into their lives and how they are overcoming this.  This little girl has suffered a great deal of loss and deals with issues surrounding this.  She is getting therapy and making some great breakthroughs.

But it got me this precisely why God allowed our house fire?  Is this what God is trying to teach me so that we are ready to love and parent a hurting child?

Many people incorrectly think that a 12-13 year old child coming from a deprived place like Ethiopia would be absolutely thrilled and overflowing with thankfulness "to get out of there and into middle class America."  She *should* realize that her life has improved 1,000 times over and *should* thank you each and every morning when the sun rises for rescuing her.  

This is simply not the way it goes.  Will she be thrilled to have a family to call her own?  I think so.  But she also has a family that she knows very well who she must leave, possibly never to see them again.  She has experienced more loss than most of us will ever know.  She will grieve and who knows how and for how long.

We also have been grieving our loss, although it pales in comparison to what these kids must lose.  I'll admit it, every day I struggle with it still.  I struggle with not being the only queen in my castle, in charge of how every thing is done.  I struggle a lot.  I struggle with my pride, as well.  I have been humbled more in the past couple months than I have ever been.  I am thankful for it but it is NOT fun for me at all to be humbled!  

Is it a life preparation class we are living through right now?  Obviously, God allows bad things to happen to us to teach us and train us and mold us into the person He wants us to be.  

I believe this is what He's trying to teach me...humility and total dependence on Him.

Obviously, I'm a busy girl lately.  Still trying to finish the home inventory list.  Trying to complete the boys' Certificate of Citizenship paperwork.  Adoption paperwork...need I say more??  Oh, yeah and that little thing...building a house and having to pick out everything from scratch like all new furniture, paint colors for every room, tile, light fixtures.  So yesterday, after spending an hour and a half getting fingerprinted at our local jail (for the adoption, don't freak out!), in the middle of making lunch, Mihiretu calls my downstairs in a panic and tells me that water is coming out of the toilet and it's everywhere.  (Remember, this is NOT my house and the carpet downstairs is beautiful!)  I ran downstairs and yep, water was pouring out of the toilet.  Let me tell you a little flaw I have.  I don't take things like this in stride, never have, but better learn to.  The clean up began (in the middle of my extremely busy day) and humility was learned by me again.  To have to clean up poop water is humbling for me.  

Please pray that I will not be my stubborn self but will take each and every hard lesson and grow.  I don't want to have to repeat these hard lessons over and over to get them through my thick head.  

And then Lord, let us be ready when our new daughter joins our family.



  1. I love watching how God is working in your life. I hate that you have had so much pain, but He is truly working all things for the good. I will be in prayer for you all as you grow and take on this new stage. I am excited to see how God continues to work! I am learning so much from you. Blessings

  2. I love her recent series of posts. I'm learning so much. Although I do seem intrusive for reading it.. what a great service she is giving all us AP's and PAP's and she is so clear and eloquent that even those outside of the adoption chaos/world can cleary 'understand" a bit easier. wow is what I say each new entry a bushel and a peck lately.

    I don't know If I've mentioned how happy I am for you all that you are moving along ... on ALL fronts. Keep going... and... gotta laugh at toilets... if you can't.. well, what else is there to laugh at. Think about it.. your little one clogged a toilet.. he'll be impressed when he's 16.

  3. Doesn't God work in such miraculous ways? He knows just what is needed for us to learn and grow.

    Your family will be more than ready when your daughter joins your beautiful family. We too have grown as a family and I have grown as a believer.

    I will continually pray for your family.