But it got me wondering...is this precisely why God allowed our house fire? Is this what God is trying to teach me so that we are ready to love and parent a hurting child?
Many people incorrectly think that a 12-13 year old child coming from a deprived place like Ethiopia would be absolutely thrilled and overflowing with thankfulness "to get out of there and into middle class America." She *should* realize that her life has improved 1,000 times over and *should* thank you each and every morning when the sun rises for rescuing her.
This is simply not the way it goes. Will she be thrilled to have a family to call her own? I think so. But she also has a family that she knows very well who she must leave, possibly never to see them again. She has experienced more loss than most of us will ever know. She will grieve and who knows how and for how long.
We also have been grieving our loss, although it pales in comparison to what these kids must lose. I'll admit it, every day I struggle with it still. I struggle with not being the only queen in my castle, in charge of how every thing is done. I struggle a lot. I struggle with my pride, as well. I have been humbled more in the past couple months than I have ever been. I am thankful for it but it is NOT fun for me at all to be humbled!
Is it a life preparation class we are living through right now? Obviously, God allows bad things to happen to us to teach us and train us and mold us into the person He wants us to be.
I believe this is what He's trying to teach me...humility and total dependence on Him.
Obviously, I'm a busy girl lately. Still trying to finish the home inventory list. Trying to complete the boys' Certificate of Citizenship paperwork. Adoption paperwork...need I say more?? Oh, yeah and that little thing...building a house and having to pick out everything from scratch like all new furniture, paint colors for every room, tile, light fixtures. So yesterday, after spending an hour and a half getting fingerprinted at our local jail (for the adoption, don't freak out!), in the middle of making lunch, Mihiretu calls my downstairs in a panic and tells me that water is coming out of the toilet and it's everywhere. (Remember, this is NOT my house and the carpet downstairs is beautiful!) I ran downstairs and yep, water was pouring out of the toilet. Let me tell you a little flaw I have. I don't take things like this in stride, never have, but better learn to. The clean up began (in the middle of my extremely busy day) and humility was learned by me again. To have to clean up poop water is humbling for me.
Please pray that I will not be my stubborn self but will take each and every hard lesson and grow. I don't want to have to repeat these hard lessons over and over to get them through my thick head.
And then Lord, let us be ready when our new daughter joins our family.