Remember that I was asked to speak at our churches women's retreat in the spring? Remember that I have never attended a women's retreat because I haven't been comfortable being my 'comfortable self' there? :)
Well, I've come to a decision. A first (I'm sure) in the history of our church. Are you sitting down? I'm wearing jeans. Yep, you heard it here first...I'm doing it.
This is not because I am simply concerned about being comfortable. It's a statement actually.
I have heard from other women...good, valuable and wise women that they also don't feel comfortable at events like this so they don't come.
Think of it women...when you walk into the service on Sunday morning or the Christmas tea or the women's retreat, what do you see? You see women who, for the most part all look the same. They are smiling, wearing lovely clothing, all made up and hair perfect. And it always seems like it is the same lovely ladies who do the singing, speaking or emceeing. Am I right??
Is this a comfortable place for the woman who is struggling emotionally who doesn't want to make small talk with a bunch of 'perfect' women? What about the lady without the nice clothes or who has unmanageable hair? What about your unchurched friend who doesn't have the lovely jewelry?
Where is the transparency in church?? Where is the 'real-ness'?
A friend just related to me that she bought a ticket to her churches Mother's Day dessert because she wanted to hear the speaker. She had a brand new baby at home, was exhausted and not feeling especially pretty. She walked in a little late and began searching for her table number. When she found it, she looked at the lovely ladies sitting at her table, recognized none of them (the church was trying to mix people up to form new friendships) and turned around and left. Now trust me, this girl is attractive and has pretty clothes, too. But she was not comfortable!
We need to change this, ladies! Am I saying that it's wrong to dress up for church? Not at all! I'm just saying it shouldn't be the standard. Honestly, God is not impressed with your pretty clothes or perfect hair. He made you and gave you everything you own, including your clothes. Just please hear this for what I mean. Don't read into it and think I hate women who dress up. That's not what I'm trying to say at all!
All I'm saying that if women are feeling left out or uncomfortable at church, THAT IS WRONG! Straight up wrong! We have a lot to learn from and share with women who look different than us.
So this is why I'm just going to be my real self.
I'm not perfect, I don't have the perfect life, I don't have the perfect family, I don't always keep my cool, sometimes I say "fart, or crap" or something else that doesn't sound 'perfect'. I make lots and lots of mistakes, I have forgotten a child at church (yep, for real!), I forget peoples birthdays all the time, I forget a LOT of stuff and I'm basically selfish. So there it is. Reality. Oh, and on top of all that...I DON'T scrapbook! And I never will! So stressful and tedious for me.
So see how I don't fit the perfect Christian woman's role?
But you know what? I am secure in my Savior. He loves me. He leads me. He helps me through difficult times. He accepts me. He alone is my security.