Meeting our boys biological family in Hossana

Cows, donkeys and sheep in the road are so commonplace in Ethiopia that we almost didn't bother getting a picture of it. It finally dawned on me that we might have no pictures of this so one of us took these.

This drive is on the way down to Hossana, which is about 4 hours south of the capital city of Addis Ababa.

Just drink in this view! Absolutely breathtaking. The drive to Sheshemene is similar but we noticed some differences...fewer people walking along the roads and more of these round huts.

We also noticed that the crops in the region were big and healthy. We've heard so much about drought and famine in southern Ethiopia but we didn't see that here. They had good rains and that's produced these beautiful crops. The bad famine is farther south, it seems.

This is the hotel where we stayed in Hossana. There is a restaurant attached where we took our sponsored kids to lunch and also Mihiretu and Misganaw's family. Good food.

An early morning view from our balcony at the Lemma Hotel.

We had the room with the view here. Kevin and Denise overlooked a parking lot or a bus station.

The gas station in Hossana. No, I'm not kidding.

This is the Hope for Hossana school. It is supported by Children's Home Society, the adoption agency used to adopt the boys. It is a beautiful facility full of children of all ages. The man in the white coat is the teacher...all teachers in Ethiopia wear white coats like this one.

Ok, seriously...do you see what they are learning?? Impressive to say the least!

We were pleased to visit this school as since we adopted the boys, our family has sent support for this school. It is a complicated issue and hard for many to understand but after you adopt a child, you may not financially support their biological family in any way. The agreement is that when the biological family chooses to make and adoption plan for their children, the only contact they may have with the adoptive family is the yearly post placement reports (they may view them) or we may send them an occasional letter with photos or drawings by the children. That's it! So by supporting this school in their community, we feel we are supporting their family in an indirect way. Otherwise, what will we say if one day they ask us, "What did you do to help our family in Ethiopia?" Supporting this school has been our answer.

The reason is simple. If we sent monetary support or gifts to the family, other desperate families might see that and decide to "give their child/children away" in order to receive such support. This is shocking and difficult for the Western mind to conceive of. But trust me when I say that you have to see this kind of poverty to comprehend it. Who knows what lengths I might go to as a mother? I can understand thinking, "I will give away one of my children to save the other 4...the new family will send me money and the rest will survive." This is avoided by adoptive families NOT being allowed to do such things, as hard for us as that was and is.

We completely understand and agree with this policy. It's about ethics.

So this school was the sight chosen for us to meet with Mihiretu and MJ's family and we were doubly blessed that day.

Only Blaine and I were allowed in the initial meeting with their family so Katie and De, Kevin and Denise remained outside. You can see what happened to Katie and De. Surrounded! One little boy asked De if he was his real brother. He asked if De was from Ethiopia and if his name was Eyob. He said that De looked just like his brother who'd gone to America. So cute.

I don't know any other way to do this but to make this the worlds longest post ever. But I have to give you some background to this meeting. It's important to us to retain our boys' privacy and I've always done that. I've never posted any picture of their family.

Their story is very typical with really nothing to hide but not every child has that kind of story. It's important never to ask an adoptive parent, "What happened to their parents?" or "Did they die of AIDS?" Oh, man that's a bad one. You may be curious but don't ask.

There is pain with each and every adoption story, international and here in the U.S. When you ask, you put us in a bad spot..protecting our child/children or risk making you mad. We'll choose our kids every time. Please don't be mad at us.

I have chosen today to share some of their story because I want you to see that they are human beings...real people. I know that when we adopted them almost 5 years ago, I mentioned on my blog that we'd met their mother and that she was incredibly lovely. I had not mentioned that their father had died and left her with 7 children to care for and she could not do it. M and M were the youngest and she chose to place them for adoption. She told them in a recording that she loved them so very much that she wanted them to live and have a future. Selfless...more than I can comprehend.

When we decided to take this trip, we immediately knew that we must visit her to reassure her that we were holding up to our promises that we'd made her in regards to the boys. We promised her they'd attend church, own their own Bibles, learn them, etc. The least we could do was to show her these things after she'd entrusted her most precious gifts to us.

We made arrangements through Children's Home Society to meet her. Soon after we made these arrangements, we got some wonderful news. It was shocking but wonderful. Their father was alive. He'd gone looking for more farmland and after he'd been gone a long time, she got word that he'd died. But in fact, he had been very sick but he recovered and came home! What a thrill for her and the rest of the family. We'd never have known this if we hadn't arranged for this visit.

So not only did we get to see their mother, we got to meet their father and their siblings!

This is the boys maternal grandparents. I can't say enough about them. They are strong Christian people who simply could not stop praising the Lord when they say each photo of the boys! She kept raising her hands in praise, saying "Yesus Christos." She couldn't stop thanking Jesus.

I chose to include a few, carefully selected photos for the first time. My desire is that you see the love and connection they have to us and we have to them. The photos I've chosen to share, with the exception of the grandparents' are not full face. That's by design. We do have some portrait type family pictures with all of them and all of us but those will hang in our home, not be put on the internet. Hope you understand.

This man hugging Katie is the boys' father. He looks very old but considering the hard, hard life he's led, we believe him to be about 50. The sweetie walking away is the oldest boy, who if he turned around, you would see Mihiretu's face looking back at you. Really, it is eery in a good way.

The girl hugging Katie is the oldest sister, who also looks so much like Mihiretu. The boy on the left is the oldest brother, the girl behind Katie is the younger sister and the little guy in the grey shirt is Mihiretu's older brother.

Meeting them was a priceless time for all of us. Since we got home, I can't look at Mihiretu without seeing his mother, sister and brother. I look at him and wonder.

I have so much more to share about our feelings but I know this is an epic post so I better quit now and come back to it later.

Thanks for sticking with this one. You're amazing if you did!

Meeting our Compassion boy in Hossana

Our afternoon ended with a visit to Mandefro's home. We were honored that their whole family was there, meaning that his parents stayed home from work and his sister skipped school for a day, a big sacrifice for them.

Of all the homes we had the privilege to visit, Mandefro's compound was right up there in beauty. It was clear that his family had worked hard to keep up their property. This is the view walking into their yard.

Just inside their front door, we received such a warm greeting by his family. I would say his family, according to Ethiopian standards, is middle class.

Mandefro's sister roasting the coffee beans for the coffee ceremony. This is all done right in the house, smoke and all.

Mandefro's mom finishing the roasting of the coffee beans. The floors of these homes is actually dirt covered with a large piece of linoleum.

His mom putting sugar in the cups.

Pouring the coffee into cups. The glass jar with the stick in it is inscence burning.

Under the lace is baskets filled with treats...oranges, bread and honestly the best popcorn I have ever had.

Mandefro's and I peeling oranges. Ethiopia has some amazing oranges.

his family and us. Isn't their compound gorgeous? The trees behind us are called false banana plants. They grow no bananas but they are very drought resistant and have a root that they make a food called kocho. It is one of their staples. Kocho looks like a slice of Parmesan cheese but tastes like Limburger cheese and dirty socks. It is by far one of the worst things I have ever eaten! If you have Netflix, you can watch all about Ethiopian food on Bizzare Foods with Andrew Zimmern. He says that the false banana root spends 3 months fermenting in the ground after its been chopped up. Yep...that explains it! Fortunately Mandefro's family didn't offer us any!

Us with our sweet boy.

As we sat in their living room they had obviously read our letters because they asked us about our house fire. They asked about Aliya's adoption and knew all our kids' names. It was clear that they were as interested in our lives as we were about theirs.

We all enjoyed meeting our sponsor kids, their families and to be so warmly welcomed into their homes and lives.

We stayed overnight in Hossana and on Thursday met with Mihiretu and Misganaw's family. I've thought and thought about how much of this to share online? Hope I do it justice tomorrow.

Taking the boys to lunch

After we went and had the feast there, we met the 2 boys we sponsor at the restaurant and had lunch. We'd spent so much time with Ayano's family that it was now 2pm and the boys were pretty hungry! We, of course were not since we'd already eaten at Ayano's. But eat again we did!

Our boys started out acting very shy but warmed up as time went on.

In Ethiopia, it is a sign of respect and love to feed another person. It's done very regularly and is completely normal to see. Ayano started it out by feeding Denise some of his injera, wat and tibs.

Ok, now Katie!

Mandefro, our oldest sponsored child got into the game and fed me.

And then Blaine!

After lunch, the boys went into the courtyard to show us some of their soccer skills with Ayano's new ball. They put the American kids I know to shame:) Little did Mandefro and Temesgen know that in their backpacks were a sweet soccer ball for each of them, too!

Even in a fancy suit, Ayano had skills.

This is Temesgen, our younger sponsored child. He was so sweet but very shy and quiet.

Blaine and I had made up a Shutterfly book with pics of our family. The Ethiopian's were very interested in seeing our 3 Habesha (Ethiopian) kids and what their new lives looked like as American's.

Lunch! Each of the boys had tibs, either beef or lamb fried in oil with jalepeno peppers. Very delicious and a big treat for them.

The whole group of us waiting for lunch to come.

This was a full day! We met with Ayano's family and went to his program. We took everyone out to lunch, which I think cost about $30 or $40 USD for all of us. We next will visit Temesgen's house and mother and after that we'll visit Mandefro's home and family.

Just too much to post all at once!

Tomorrow, Temesgen's home visit.

Blessings.

Compassion International kids are real kids!

On Wednesday, we visited the kids we sponsor through Compassion International. We and our friends, Kevin and Denise sponsor boys from the Hossana region of Ethiopia. We all did this by design as this is the area that Mihiretu and MJ are from and gives us another connection to this area.

We left early in the morning to make the 4 hour journey south to the town of Hossana, where we would first meet Ayano, Kevin and Denise's little boy. We'd meet our 2 sponsor boys next, as they are at a different Compassion project in the area.

The above picture is the church where Ayano's project is. The kids attend school at a local school but come here for many activities the church offers. A sponsorship through Compassion allows the child to do all of this. It is a great benefit to them as they get their school fees paid, all their school supplies (which can be a huge expense for a poor family) and so, so much more. It was wonderful to see how much they do for the kids and mostly that they learn about Jesus' love for them here. As you can see, it is a big and beautiful church they have.

In this building, we found dozens of young mothers and babies taking a class on parenting. They are at-risk mothers, and so therefore they qualify for the program. I wish we had a picture of their faces when we walked in! We were the first ever Western people to visit this site. I wouldn't be surprised at all if we were the first white people they'd ever seen in the flesh. I know very little Amharic but I do know how to greet someone properly and when I did, they women burst out laughing. They must have though, "How can this white lady know our language?" The women were warm and kind but when I squatted down by a little toddler to say hello, he screamed in terror. Poor little guy! He ran back to his mommy and all the ladies giggled.

We sat in the office Compassion Director there and he told us about the area and how they were able to help the children in that region. It was impressive and they took us coming very seriously. You would have thought we were dignitaries from the U.S. with the speech he'd obviously spent hours preparing. So sweet.

Above you can see Denise and Ayano. He is holding the letters that he'd received from Denise and Kevin.

Kevin, Denise, Ayano and Atkelt. Atkelt was the representative and interpreter from Compassion. He stayed with us the entire time, explaining many things about Ethiopia and it's culture. At one time, he himself had been a sponsored child through Compassion. He told us about his sponsors, an elderly couple from Germany who wrote him letters and encouraged him in his faith. He is a college graduate and a very, very impressive young man with perfect English. It was an honor to have him with us.

We were able to present our kids with backpacks full of gifts. Ayano received this soccer ball from Kevin and Denise and honestly would not put it down the entire day! He's pretty proud of it.

After visiting the Compassion project, we were graciously invited into Ayano's family home. It was a wonderful experience. We were warmly greeted, pampered and spoiled rotten by his family. This is Ayano removing the gifts from his backpack. As he pulled each one out, he raised them above his head, all to the cheers and clapping of his family! It was hilarious!

Ayano got Smarties!!! Yea!!! Just look how adorable this boy is dressed! I think the church bought him this suit since we were the first to ever visit a Compassion child at their project. He was the sweetest boy and he stole all of our hearts from the minute we laid eyes on him.

Kevin and Denise presenting Ayano's parents with a new set of sheets and some utensils. They clapped for that, too! Just look how happy his mother looks.

Atkelt led the kids in a Bible song in Ayano's house.

This is the outside of Ayano's home. Notice the sheep (that looks like a goat) all curled up under the window?

This family had gone ALL out on us. I cannot imagine what it cost them to put this spread out for us. We were unable to eat the uncooked items, but the scrambled eggs and carrots were delicious. Popcorn is a traditional item that Ethiopian's eat with their coffee ceremony, which she did for us. We were blown away by their generosity right down to them buying each one of us a bottle of pop. For people who didn't have much, they shared ALL they had with us.

Humbling.

Most of the family. I think there were 4 older brothers missing from the picture. Doesn't the dad look like Lionel Ritchie? Yes, there is a funny story behind that one!

My absolute favorite picture!

So you see, when you sponsor a child through Compassion International and you write them letters, they get them. When you send a Christmas gift or Birthday gift (money) the people in the project really do use it to buy the child a gift. Many people mistakenly believe all the money you send goes into a pot and is split between anonymous children and the picture they send you is just one child in a project. Not true! They are real, living, breathing, beautiful children with hopes and dreams.

What an incredible honor to get to contribute to that in a small way.

Next, post...our Compassion boys!

Clinic days in Korah

We participated in a week long clinic for the people of Korah to receive free medical attention. The 6 of us (Katie, De, Kevin, Denise, Blaine and I) joined up with a the first ever medical group that Visiting Orphans had sent out. The group consisted of a retired doctor, a nurse practitioner, a 4th year medical student, many nurses, a pharmacist and non-medical people.

I am an LPN, albeit a rusty one. My job, along with Janet was to do triage. All the patients came to us first and we, through interpreters found out what what there medical problem was. A group of about 15 people came into our half of the church and came one at a time to our table.

We saw a huge variety of people with a myriad of medical concerns. The boy above had problems with his eyes. They were so red and bothered him. Unfortunately, we had nothing go give him. This was often the case and that was the frustrating part. Next time...bring eye drops.

Beautiful mother and her 2 little ones.

This was the side of clinic where the patients received treatment. These 2 nurses showed the people a lot of love and care.

All the patients received a bottle of water, a toothbrush and toothpaste. Toothpaste was in huge demand. They call it "Colgate" whether it is actually Colgate of not.

More sweeties. These kids had already been triaged and were waiting to see the doctor.

I guess you can see who Blaine attracts...the girls! Like father, like son...Blake did the same thing. In all his pictures from last year, he is surrounded by girls.

There is no such thing as being lonely in Korah. The minute the van drives in the kids surround you, run after the van and follow it until you get out. It is so wonderful!

The little girl on the far left is Marta. She is in love with De. She comes off as a tough little cookie but she really is soft and tender. The second day we were there, she presented De with an envelope with a love letter inside and a cute heart shaped necklace. He wore it the rest of the trip...so, so sweet. On the last day when we pulled away, she stood there watching us drive away with big tears running down her cheeks. The other girls were surprised at her show of emotion and began laughing at her. She made her 'mean face' and stomped off. De has a special way of bringing out the very best in people, even tough cookies like Marta.

The girl in turquoise with her elbow on Blaine's shoulder is Beza. She is a girl we sponsor there in Korah. She's very sweet and as all the girls do, she loved Blaine.

The girl in the brown sweater toward the right is Fasika. If you have an amazing memory, you will remember that she and Katie bonded when they were there a couple summers ago. If you remember, the group of kids from Korah were taken out into the countryside for a field trip and while they were out there, Fasika demonstrated to Katie how to properly use the restroom where there is absolutely no restroom and shielded Katie with her large skirt. A girl like this is special...so of course, we had to sponsor her, too!

This is the street outside the church compound. These people were waiting their turn to come in to be triaged and see the doctor.

I enjoyed doing this triaging job immensely. I loved meeting each person, asking them their name and telling them mine. I loved shaking each persons hand.

Blaine tells me that I paint a very rosy picture of life in Ethiopia and I suppose that's true. I'm not one to sensationalize what I see...I tend to downplay it. That's because I personally think it's wrong to 'use' people for a picture. It's wrong to make yourself look like a saint because of 'what you've done.' The truth is, each person to me is beautiful. They may have leprosy and have no fingers. I'm guessing these people don't get touched much. They may be crippled to to the point where they can hardly get around on their crutches. They may have scabies. They may be blind and have weeping eyes. They may have TB and be coughing uncontrollably. Snot may be pouring out of their nose. Most always they are filthy and smell.

I don't care...I honestly don't see those things. Well, I guess I do see them but they don't matter to me whatsoever.

I touch every. single. one.

I smile at them and listen to their complaints. I show them I care and take them seriously.

There were multiple amazing 'photo ops' where a sensational picture could have been taken. But I'd rather live in the moment and not make suffering people feel like spectacles. So we don't have any pictures like that. I prefer to give people their dignity.

There were frustrating moments in clinic. The most frustrating moment for me was when the man, who was probably about my age came in with his wife. His complaint? He couldn't read his Bible. He brought it in to show me. What did this man need? Reading glasses. I saw them at the dollar store before we left. $1. $1 reading glasses would have changed this mans life. We didn't have them. Next time...bring reading glasses.

At the bottom of a bin, someone did find a pair of glasses. Not sure where they came from. I tried them on and couldn't see a thing. They had been someones prescription glasses which they donated.

At the end of the day another man came in with his wife, complaining of vision problems. Feeling frustrated and wishing I had some glasses, I remembered this pair of prescription glasses. I realized it was the biggest long shot in the world, but I offered this man these glasses. He slowly looked around, blinked a few times and declared that he could see people better. He left happy. I was happy. God knew which person needed those particular glasses. He prompted me to give them to the right man.

At the end of each day, we saw between 110-150 people every day.

Amazing experience.

Tomorrow...our trip to Hossana.